Incorporating complex familial relationships into your big day can be a test of logistics, diplomacy and tact. Add to this the conflicting expectations and needs of different generations and it’s almost enough to make some consider eloping.
The first thing to remember is that this day is about you and your partner. Weddings can be a minefield of tradition and etiquette, but for your own sanity, it can make sense to disregard the rule book and work out what feels right for you on your wedding day. Stay calm, ask for and listen to opinions, but be clear about decisions once you’ve made them.
Start A Tradition
A lovely way to honour and include everyone in your family, even though they can’t all fit around the top table, is to display a family tree showing who’s who. Ask family members and guests to provide a quirky photo or drawing of themselves and use them as part of your table plan or place settings.
Many families have a sacred book, a bible for example, that has been handed down through the generations. If you don’t, why not invest in a beautifully bound copy of a meaningful book and ask your parents and grandparents to sign it before you and your spouse do on your big day?
Where the bride and groom already have children from previous relationships, include them in the ceremony. In the Jewish tradition, the children of the couple join them under the chuppah or wedding canopy. To replicate this, consider adding vows to the children from the new stepparent and a pledge from everyone to offer love, support and care.
Ask guests to write a note for you to open on your anniversary. The notes might include wishes for the future or a thought on your special day. Create a post box for guests to post their thoughts in and seal it up to be opened on your first, fifth or tenth wedding anniversary. Have a look at our wholesale wedding accessories for ways to create a wedding style unique to your family.
Mixing And Matching
As well as attempting to smooth over any internal family discord, often the key to a successful wedding is making sure your guests feel relaxed and happy. Tempting though it may be, don’t divide your seating plan along family lines, instead mix and match guests as much as possible, giving each table someone from each family as well as like-minded friends.
Make sure you have contributions from both families on your big day, so nobody feels left out. Not everyone can have a reading or an official role, but try to delegate tasks and responsibilities to every member of your families so they will all feel involved. Remember to thank anyone who helps profusely—and preferably in writing.
Wholesale wedding decorations can be a shortcut to a personal and unique feeling, but involving your family and easing any tensions could be the most beautiful feature of your special day.
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